Ukulaya Umakoti- Umtshado WeSintu Part 2. ---- #17

ENDLINI KAGOGO

UkuLaya kungumkhuba lesiko elihamba phambili uMakoti engakaphumi kwabo esiya kibo kajaha ekwendeni kwakhe.

UGogo ozala uyisekamakoti nguye okhokhela this session ememe zonke izihlobo zikaMakoti ezesifazane. Ubaba labesilisa kabafuneki lapha okulaywa khona untombazane lo osesiyakwenda.

Nxa uGogo ozala ubaba engasekho kukhokhela uBabakazi udadewabo kayise kamakoti. Nxa uBabakazi engekho kukhokhela uMalumekazi kamakoti.

Lokhu kwenzelwa endlini kaGogo bonke bayekuthi gwaqa khona. UGogo nguye phela umendi omdala kibo bonke abendi kulolusendo lwalapha ekhaya. Uwazi kuhle umendo njalo zonke izinkinga zomendo esezavelela abanengi kulolusendo lakweminye imizi lapha esigabeni uyazazi zonke ukubone ngawakhe amehlo wakuzwa ngezakhe izindlebe.

Njalo ezinengi ezekwendeni wazithatha kwabaphambili abaficayo abangasekho lapha emhlabeni. All the family and community generational memory is in her hut, endlini kagogo.

ISIPHO SAKUQALA

Kulapha ngemva kokulaya lokhu lapha uGogo azakhupha khona impahla thize eligugu laye ayiphiwayo eyedlulisele phambili kulo osephuma osesiyakwenda. Nanso ke isibusiso esikhulu esivula yonke inhlanhla yezipho kulo untombazana.

Yiso isipho esiphuma kuqala phambili kwazo zonke izipho zomtshado. Lesi sipho silihawu lokuthatha izipho ezilethwa ngabantu abalenhliziyo ezimbi zithakiwe ukuthi zizongena egumeni zidunge umuzi walo osesiyaqalisa owakhe uchitheke. Kulezipho abanye abantu abakhunga ngazo eziyisichitho. Konke lokhu kuvikelwa ngalesi sipho esingumthandazo osuka kugogo asipha umzukulu wakhe ngemva kokulaywa lokhu. Spiritual protection is key emendweni ngoba umuntu was created before being made through sexual act.

IMILAYO

Kulokulaya then kulemilayo. Imilayo yiyo emumethe the true values of a Mthwakazi marriage. Most of those values have been corrupted or have been replaced by foreign values guided by selfish egos. Then izikhwicamfundo zemfundo yabelungu besezibhala ukuthi those corrupted values ngeze Siko lesintu sethu thina abansundu. Hatshi ke ngesiko lesintu lakoMthwakazi akula such nagative values about marriages, singazi kusiko lwabanye abansundu.

Umlayo oqakathekileyo lapha yikuthi uMakoti angahlaleli any form of physical abuse, ukutshaywa ngitsho lakancane, not even impama nje. Angakutshaya tshiya ngokuphangisa uzositshela, ngoba kazange athi ukuthathela ukuthi uyakutshaya. NgeSiko le Sintu sakoMthwakazi umfazi katshwaywa, uyahlonitshwa. Domestic abuse and violence on women and children is an import value system into our environment and not into our culture.

Bayakugcizelela kelokhu ngezingoma langezitsho abadala in our culture. “angakutshaya ubaleke uzobika kumama.” Njalo baphinde bathi endodeni ethathayo, “induku kayakhi muzi” ngoba besazi obaba ukuthi ngale uMakoti usetshelwe yizalukazi zakwabo ukuthi angafakwa isandla kasuke ahle atshiye umendo lomuzi wakhona khonapho masinya.

Okwesibili okumqoka ngumlayo wokuthi uMakoti kalandanga kuyafoloma inhliziyo lobutshapha bendoda. Khonokho okuhle akubone kuwe uzavuka ekubona komunye. Akusuwe wedwa omuhle kumbe olokuhle. Ungalwi izimpi zobutshapha bendonda ngoba kasiyo mtanakho kawusoze uyigoqe. Wena khangela okungokwakho okulande lapha egumeni leli, abantwana olande ukuzabazala lapha ekhaya. Kungakudaka ukwenza kwakhe Bonga ubuthe okungokwakho uvalelise. Ungahlaleli amanyala enziwa ngumuntu ngabomo abakini bephila.

Okwesithathu ngumlayo ophathelane lokuthi uMakoti ulezandla njalo uphelele ekhanda kusitsho ukuthi ulengqondo zokuthi asebenzise imicabango. Angalandi ukuyasetshenzelwa yindoda athembele esikhwameni sayo lokufunzwa yiyo, ageziswe yiyo. Izamdelela imtshiye endlini iyedinga abazigezisayo ngoba vele amadoda yizinja ezithanda umnikazi kodwa ebusuku nxa,zingavalelwanga ziphuma zingene emalayinini. Ungambona ephuma ekutshiya endlini kuhlwile useyekomunye ungezwa amanga akhe azakuza lawo.

Iminengi ke imilayo efanana lale sesingaloba ugwalo ngayo. Ibiqakathekile kakhulu iyisikolo esikhulu sokusungula umuzi. Lesi sikolo besingenwa sipaswe ngosuku lomtshado ngomthimba wokuqala owakibo kamfazi.

ISIMANJEMANJE:

Selilahlekile isiko lakoMthwakazi leli elokulaya. Unkazana uselaywa ngabangane kuma kitchen party most of them abangendanga loba abehlulwa yimendo yabo. Yibo asebengosiyazi ngemitshado lemendo kelaba. Yibo asebelaya osesiyakwenda lo.

Ulaywa ngotshwala ephiwa izipho ezivela thandazelwa zahlatshwa ngamanarithi zachelwa ngezichitho ezinye zathakathwa, ezinye kazima okokuthi ziyayikhwathaza imali lokudla endlini zikuhambise emzini kamanikeza leso sipho.

Laba ke bona abalabangane ababalaya ngotshwala bazebabengcono. Abanye vele kabalaywa babopha imithwalo yabo nje bayekwehla kibo kandoda, bazalaywa ngomakhelwane emalayinini labangane abazabathola ekwendeni.

Abanye njalo nxa belezinkonzo bazalaywa ngabafundisi babo baze bayebagangela babalale emagumeni abo kumbe emagangeni lapha.

Abanye sebelaywa emawofisini ama NGO yizazi zemendo eziholiswa ngabelungu ngoba belama degree, singazi loba ukwenda kule degree emakolitshini, imfundo yaleyo degree ibhalwe ngubani owendele ngaphi?

Konke lokhu sekuyisilamuhla, isimanjemanje.

ISIXWAYISO:

Ukusuka kwenu ndodakazi usiyakwenda ungalaywanga ngabadala begumeni langakini yisithuko kuwe wena oyakwenda egumeni labanye abantu. Yisithuko emadlozini akho lakuNkulunkulu. Uhle udeleleke nje ulele ufikile egumeni uhle uqalise ukulwa izimpi ze inferiority complex lapha ekhaya. Phela bahle bakubone ngokwenza ukuthi kawulaywanga lapha osuke khona.

Uthukwa ngakho ukungalaywa lokhu. Uzwe bethi; Vele lolaye kalaywanga kwabo. Kabuyele kibo ayelaywa kutsha. Kalayekanga umbiseleni kibo.

Bomama nxa kulento enhle ongayenzela indodakazi yakho nxa iphuma isiyakwenda yikuthi uyiphe ithuba elihle lokuthi ilawye egumeni lakho kulandelwa Imilayo yesiko lesintu sakoMthwakazi.

UMBUZO:

Kambe ngendlela ama church, ama political party lezikolo zemfundo asezichithe ngayo amafamilies lama relationships, lobuhlobo is it possible in today’s environment ukuthi amadodakazi athole izibusiso zokulaywa ngendlela eqondileyo?

© Khulu Cont Mhlanga - 8th December 2021 

All Rights Reserved

Authorised publishers: #TheWalk