ISintu sokuphatha amaLobolo---- #07

KuleSintu ezimbili esezilahleke kakhulukazi koMthwakazi lapha. YiSintu sokuphatha “marriages” leSintu sokuphatha “ukufa lezimfa phakathi koSendo. Lesi Sintu sihamba back to back, imfa lomtshado.

Amalobolo are part of a marriage process ebizwa ngokuthi “YikuThatha” UkuThatha lokhu you go through different stages of ukuThatha. Ukuthatha is central to the process of marriage and laMalobolo. Yikho lapho okuphuma khona the event chant call “woza laye”. Lokhu kukhomba ukuthi you can’t “wozalaye” wena ungazange uyemthatha ngakibo. Ngakho ke the key activity in a Mthwakazi marriage process yikuThatha.

Lizavumelana lathi ke ukuthi iSintu sokuThatha has been corrupted koMthwakazi lapha. Kumitshado eminengi eyakhathesi uJaha is not given the full opportunity ukuthi asthengise amandla akhe alawo ngokuthi ayeThatha his wife to be  ngakibo kankazana. Engakakwenzi lokhu kavunyelwa lo ujaha to participate kuMthwakazi political platforms. He can only be drafted kuButho likaMthwakazi athathe instructions only from kwabaThetheyo.

UKuncega

Ukuncenga yikho okuqalayo nxa ujaha esezimisele ukuthatha. Kuncengwabani ke lapha? Kuncengwa unkazana le esibonakele kuleli khaya ukuthi ivule nje umlomo wayo in favour of isicelo salo jaha. Phela Mthwakazi women bakhuliswe nge social framing yakoMthwakazi ethi umfazi is the centre of power in family building and expansion while men protect the space where women operate to lead in building families and the foundation of iSizwe. Isikhiwa esabuyayo yiso esaguqula this Mthwakazi social framing ku society esesiphila kiyo lamhlanje.

Ngakho untombazana wonke koMthwakazi wayesazi ukuthi they have power in the negotiations yokucela umlilo. Ngakho ke babejikela izipanela at any stage of the process nxa befuna kungabi ndaba zalutho.

Sivela lapho ke isikhungo sesivulamlomo esiqondiswa kunkazana. Ujaha kumele azitshengisele kunkazana phambi kwaboSendo lwakhe unkazana ukuthi he means serious business lapha. ISintu lesi sesilahlekile ke kulezinsuku ngenxa yokulingisela the western social framing of society. Isivulamlomo kasisaphiwa unkazana sesiphiwa ubaba lomama in most cases ubaba kucine kunguye osefake imali yakhona ephokethini angani nguye ozoncengwa ukuthi ayekwenda kojaha.

Isivulamlomo now corrupted!

Ukuvela

Next in the prosess yokuthatha yikuvela. Ngubani ovelayo lapha? Nguntombazana lo ozothathwa lapha ekhaya kumele aba kibo kajaha bamazi ukuthi nguye osekhethwe ngomunye wabo ukuthi azoqhelisa uSendo lwakwabo. Manje unkazana lo kungaphumanga isikhungo sakhe sokuthi ayekwaziwa kibo kajaha vele nje yonke into imalapho. Isukela lapho ke imali ebizwa kuthiwe ngukangaziwe. Layo le iphiwa unkazana ukuthi akhululeke bayemphatha kibo kajaha bathi Google her as much as possible ngoba she is coming into their family ngakho kumele bamazi bavumelane lomfowabo ukuthi yebo akayemthatha.

Laso ke iSintu lesi sokuphatha ukangaziwe sesalahleka lapha koMthwakazi. Sokungumfana ozokwaziwa kibo kankazana lemali yakhona ithathwe ngubaba. Phela kulezi nsuku lonkazana usengaze ayetshada lojaha lo inengi labakibo kajaha bengamazi lonkazana ukuthi uyi what kind. Kulapha ke okudaleka khona serious conflicts phakathi kukamendi labakibo kamkakhe. Inhlanyelo Yale conflict isukela ekulahleni iSintu sokuphatha ukangaziwe.

Amalobolo

Angavela aziwe unkazana kibo kajaha next in the process ngamalobolo. Kule nkomo ezimbili ezomkhuba eziphumayo before kungakakhulunywa ngamalobolo. Yinkomo eyeqhele likamama wenkazana lenkomo  eyexaba likababa ozala inkazana. Inkomo kababa le khathesi sokuthiwa ngeyejazi kumbe ibhatshi likababa. Ekamama,yiyo ke ebizwa kuthiwa yinkomo yohlanga. Lezi izinkomo ziphiwa ubaba lomama kuthi ezinye ke ezamalobolo kuba yizinkomo zekhaya lapha okondliwe khona lo unkazana.

For every girl child abazalwa ngulo umama kungumkhuba ukuthi athole inkomo yoHlanga ubaba athole inkomo yeXaba. LesiSintu esenkomo yomkhuba lesi laso sesilahlekile.Kwezinye izikhathi zivele kazisakhutshwa uzwe bethi sakhupha inkomo zamalobolo. As long as umama engayiqhutshelwanga okomkhuba kuzadonsela inzalo yalaba abathathanayo imikhokha yoSendo lwalapha. Kwesinye isikhathi inkomo lezi ziyaphuma kodwa umama angasayiphiwa eyakhe ichithwe ngubaba labafana abasegumeni lapha.

Inkomo zokwemukela uNkazana

Kungavele kuphume lezi ezomkhuba wegazi ujaha usekhululekile ukuthi aqoqe ithimba lakhe azoThatha unkazana wakhe lo. It is an event that isiQinti sonke sikaSosiqinti walapho will never forget. Amanye ama events la awejaha lizoThatha aduma lesiGaba sonke sikaMlisa walezi ziQinti ezingaphansi kobuKhokheli bakhe uMlisa.

Kulapho okuphuma khona izinkomo zesithembiso sokwemukela unkazana ngakibo woSendo lukaJaha. Ukuthi zinkomo ezingaki kuyangokuthi kumi njani esibayeni sakoJaha lapha uMakoti azokwemukelwa khona. Lezi nkomo ziyisipho sokubonga lonkazana lalelikhaya ngokuthi aboSendo lwabo sebethole an additional centre of power kuSendo lwabo. Phela lezi inkomo nxa ziphethwe ngeSintu esiqondilelo kuyenzeka zande zizeziphume ezinye zazo zilandele unkazana ekwendeni kwakhe ikhakhulu after natural disasters zingathi zehlele uSendo oluyaqaliswa ngulo unkazana. Kuyabongwa ukuthi umtanakho ancenge aphethe esiyathatha in a prestigious and respect family ephethe umthetho wakoMthwakazi.

LesiISintu sokuphatha amalobolo sesilahlekile koMthwakazi. Uzafica abantu bangakibo kankazana  bebuthene bezobizela ujaha amalobolo. Abanye bayaphambili bathi akulamthimba womtanabo before amalobolo abawafunayo ngenkani engakakhutshwa wonke. Under pressure le enje sesithola sekulamankazana azilobolayo.

NgeSintu samalobolo koMthwakazi vele nje kuyinxwala ukuthi ujaha aphume eyesebenza imali yokwemukelwa kukaMakoti ozongena ngakwabo, let alone uMakoti adinge yena imali ayise kibo kajaha lakhe ukuthi bayememukela ngayo. Kuyafana nje lokuthi aboSendo lwalo jaha kabamemukelanga uMakoti oza lapha ekhaya. Worse still abanye uyezwa bethi umtwana yinkomo. Habe Mthwakazi. Abanye uzwe bethi samfundisa lounkazana so ndoda owethu unkazana yi‘cash and carry”

Kawaphathwa njalo amalobolo. Yiso phela isizatho esiveza umutsho othi inkomo zamalobolo kazithoniswa ngoba they are a free gift from the family eyemukela uMakoti. Khathesi lenkomo lezi ezamalobolo kazisabi ngezekhaya sezihluthunwa nje ngumtwana olomhawu lapha ekhaya kubophe ingxabano kuthi nki ekhaya lapha.

Nxa sifuna ukuvusa uBuntu kuqakathekile ukuthi kuqalwe ngokuvuswa iSintu ngoba abantu bakithi will forever remain the pale shadow of whom they are told they are, yet it never connects to iSintu sabo.

© Khulu Cont Mhlanga - 9 September 2021

All Rights Reserved

Authorised publishers: #TheWalk